A-TEAM 48-0 OLD BRODS BEAVERS - MATCH REPORT

Published: 06/11/2017

A_Team_Match_Report

NICE BEAVER!

The mighty A Team continued their unbeaten home run with a display of champagne rugby in front of a full house at fortress Lockwood Park against Old Brods Beavers.

The promise of post match free beer - courtesy of our very generous sponsors - brought out all kind of randoms. The post match caterers even had to open another tin of beans.

The sponsors wish to remain anonymous, especially Marcus Wood. This international Man of Mystery has never used his National Insurance number & has no bank account. Now many of us have a garage at home, I dare say full of the usual rubbish & maybe even the odd car. Our hero will have no truck with such fripperies as he owns a “lock up”. Now the only other people I have ever heard of that own a lock up are Del Boy Trotter & Arthur Daly – & they only had one each – our hero has two ! I will leave you, dear readers, to draw your own conclusions……..

Anyway we decided that so many subs necessitated the use of a coordinator to make sure everyone got plenty of game time. Having tripped over a daisy last week & apparently “cracked his sternum” (!) the injured George volunteered. The suggestion that it might involve a mild degree of counting brought him out in a cold sweat as apparently that wasn’t covered in his City & Guilds Heating & Plumbing course. The lad was a whirr of fingers, thumbs & the removal of socks.

Anyway sports fans enough of my still a bit hung over ramblings – back to the action.

Early doors & Locky is again hard, fast & straight up the middle for our first score, shortly after which I was summoned by the ref. Now I know what you’re thinking - not exactly a first for me, but what followed was  - as the ref asked both teams to refrain from swearing ! Bloody Hell !! He didn’t look like a typical sandal wearing, coconut water drinking, Guardian reading Corbyn supporter but there you go - so the match went on. In total silence.

Nowt much was said at the next team talk but nowt much needed to be, as the growing band of A Team cheerleaders’ pom poms were again being bounced up & down for the second score. Try of the match as Spike inadvertently dummied his way past most of the their backline, the ref (twice) & himself before offloading to score. Even the ref muttered “Jesus Christ !”

Next up Andre managed to make like a clapping motion with his hands just as the ball happened to hit them & this time it stuck & he scored. The lad got over for another but his tally of two was doubled by Ad Lancs who shot to the top of the try scoring charts & celebrated in traditional fashion by wearing something strange. On this occasion it turned out to be Trish’s knickers in his top pocket.

Late on it fell to Locky to give us his usual bit of “ridiculous” to go with his “sublime” by, with the tryline begging, just their full back to beat & Spike on his shoulder, he decided to kick through & create a foot race. Now you can count on the fingers of no hands the number of A Teamers you would want to back in a foot race & sure enough, after their full back stopped laughing he ran back & saved what had been a certain try.

Big ups all round, especially to Dan & Chris making their debuts & MOM Stan. Leroy also had a stormer once he had got over the disappointment of being told he had to put his fag out before he came on to play.

The victory was celebrated long & hard into the night in a manner which would no doubt not have been approved of by the ref. I do however feel duty bound to give him the last word. He thought it had been a “blooming good game” & “a flippin good win” ! ‘Nuff said.

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